Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
