she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize