he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How's work?
Spinning.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
