As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
