So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
