I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
