Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize