Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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