yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
