haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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