So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
