That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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