oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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