Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize