I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
