Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
