those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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