I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
