i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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