those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
