I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
