I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
someone owes me an orgasm
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
