So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
