He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize