So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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