nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
