Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
