I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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