She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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