...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They have beer where we have blood.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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