would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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