meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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