I'm lost and stupid without you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
