I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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