So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
