I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
