she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize