I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
