do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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