He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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