so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
