i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
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