i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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