this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
