super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize