It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
