are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
