I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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