So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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