Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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