I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
