from now on my penis is your penis
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
