i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize