3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
