I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
