I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
