He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize