i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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