Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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