Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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