I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
