Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cannot find my penis.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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